If you and your spouse are planning to divorce and share children, you will also have to plan how you go about breaking the news to them. If you think you are having a rough time coping with the end of your marriage, imagine how they might feel. How you decide to tell them about your divorce can have a great impact on them now and for many years to come, so make sure you put some genuine thought and time into how you approach this delicate subject.
Here are some tips to help you deliver the news:
- Choose your timing wisely: When you tell your children is just as critical as how you tell them. You should never tell them before bedtime or as you are dropping them off at school, for example, because it does not allow them the opportunity to ask any questions or begin a meaningful dialogue with you. It also does not give them much of a chance to fully process the information. Tell them before a weekend, or before a break from school. This will not only give them a chance to ask questions in the aftermath, but continue to discuss it with you if any other thoughts on the matter arise.
- Tell them together: Regardless of how bitter the divorce might be or what problems you might have with one another, coming together and presenting a united front for your children during this difficult time is important. Your children are going to feel confused, upset, and scared about the future, so hearing this information from both of you at the same time will feel reassuring that, despite the fact that you will no longer be together, you still be a family. This will also help your children maintain a sense of trust in both of you as parents.
- Tell them it is not their fault: It might seem like common sense to you, but children often think their parents’ divorce is their fault, so you need to let them know this decision was not influenced by them in any way. This was an adult decision between you and your spouse and nothing they did or could have done would change the outcome.
- Never blame each other: Obviously, the divorce is not the fault of your children, but do not take this as an opportunity to blame each other for it either. Playing the blame game in front of them will only cause them harm, especially if you start sharing all the gory details. Keep it simple and stay civil.
Divorce Attorney in Sarasota
Divorce is never an easy decision to make, especially when children are involved. At Boeller Law, P.A., we handle divorce cases with the right combination of legal prowess and therapeutic care to help our clients reach a resolution that is mutually agreeable to all parties and protects your best interests.
Contact our office today to schedule a free, no-obligation consultation.